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Stephen Does The Math On Manafort's Jail Time

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
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It's hard to keep track of all the crimes for which Paul Manafort has been charged and convicted. Stephen breaks down the math.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Afþreying

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14 mar 2019

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Lagalistinn minn
Horfa síðar
Ummæli 2 304
General Gamble
General Gamble Klukkustund síðan
I hope for poo poopers in the gardenia
Gerard de Souza
Gerard de Souza 3 klukkustundum síðan
We don't say "aboot", it's more like "abow-oot" quickly.
chezfun
chezfun 3 klukkustundum síðan
Hahaha, Colbert is a riot!
SuperLeica1
SuperLeica1 4 klukkustundum síðan
Just being a temporary coffeeboy, PM managed to break quite many regulations. Or was he a covfefe boy?
Stella Veazey
Stella Veazey 6 klukkustundum síðan
Too soon
Mega Gonzalez
Mega Gonzalez 6 klukkustundum síðan
haha hes screwed
Stew Artisan
Stew Artisan 14 klukkustundum síðan
Stephen = certfied Canadian....
Paul Edwards
Paul Edwards 15 klukkustundum síðan
He gets out in 2 years or less. Calling it right now.
Alex Muncatchy
Alex Muncatchy 16 klukkustundum síðan
Trump: "we didn't have to do this. We could have delayed it, or we could have done nothing at all." I knew it. This clown, even when faced with a relatively easy solution, will make it sound like he made a brave choice as to not appear like he's taking the advice of counsel. The inferiority complex of this guy is staggering. I am surprised that he hasn't bought a massive pickup truck just to do burn-outs out of High School parking lots.
Jes The Red
Jes The Red 20 klukkustundum síðan
Not everyone who uses a wheel chair can't stand or walk, sometimes they just cant do so reliably. And I HATE IT when people try to use Wheelchairs to garner sympathy, they affect everyone who actually needs to use them.
Books by Roni
Books by Roni 20 klukkustundum síðan
Two plane crashes and the 737 max 8 is grounded for "safety reasons" but try to stop white supremacists from shooting up mosques and the USA implodes...
Tonni Tingholm Kristensen
Tonni Tingholm Kristensen 21 klukkustund síðan
I miss the old Colbert
420 Friendly
420 Friendly 23 klukkustundum síðan
"Bed-u" 😕
CNN News ToDay
CNN News ToDay Degi Síðan síðan
lol I hope they put Trump in prison and force him to watch only Steven Colbert 24/7.
j g
j g Degi Síðan síðan
Well that's the full story, 300 words. And now for the adverbs and adjectives. Ah ha, the magic 800! Copy boy!! Been there, inflated that.
mb
mb Degi Síðan síðan
P.s. Totally wrong with the Canadian impression. Ever been to Toronto Montreal or Vancouver? No beavers or moose about.
mb
mb Degi Síðan síðan
Can't believe you joked [in length] about 2 Boeing max 8's that went down. Almost 400 dead. WTF?
Pitt Posum
Pitt Posum Degi Síðan síðan
some people get more jail time for possession of a couple of grams of marijuana... money talks.
DeborahFishburn
DeborahFishburn Degi Síðan síðan
PLEASE don't (even for the funny) push the idea that people in wheelchairs can never stand. Lots of truly disabled people are able to stand for short periods at need, as long as they have the chair to collapse back into afterwards. The issue is that able-bodied people THEN try to claim they therefore have no need of the chair - or the disabled parking place - at all.
Hong Fei Bai
Hong Fei Bai Degi Síðan síðan
Remember when in high school we learned how math was going to be useful one day? And now 19-24 years plus another sentence of a certain amount of years equals 7 years in prison? What happened to math? If you have one body how can you serve two sentences at the same time?
Orall Cornelius
Orall Cornelius Degi Síðan síðan
I've had a theory that comedy & comedians don't really care about anything or anyone. Is it possible that they're laughing at the deaths of hundreds of people in 2 plane crashes, at least indirectly?
McKinley Benson
McKinley Benson Degi Síðan síðan
Love the show. Just a quick note though -- it is ableist to make jokes about a person in a wheelchair being miraculously cured if they stand up. More than 80% of people who use wheelchairs are capable of standing and walking, but use wheelchairs to improve overall mobility.
Cody Berg
Cody Berg Degi Síðan síðan
Lol Hillary Clinton's served two countries at the same time she didn't get jail time
Cody Berg
Cody Berg Degi Síðan síðan
Wow it's pretty racist talking about Canadians like that
Tsnore
Tsnore Degi Síðan síðan
Lock 'im up!
Sweety
Sweety 2 dögum síðan
Not funny, just Un-Subscribed; and I'm not sorry.
The Musical Stylings of Brent Bunn
I'm offensive and I find Stephen's impression very Canadian.
carschmn
carschmn 2 dögum síðan
Love the Colbert calculator.
Artem Bentsionov
Artem Bentsionov 2 dögum síðan
I believe Bill Maher called Manafort’s sentence reduction a “white guy discount”.
Sandra Patterson
Sandra Patterson Degi Síðan síðan
Artem Bentsionov That's hilarious. Good for Bill! 👏👏👏👏
Michael Moreton
Michael Moreton 2 dögum síðan
Its not nice to make fun of Canada and Canadians. At least I dont think it is and if I am wrong please forgive me.
breakshot74
breakshot74 2 dögum síðan
i really love the calculator part
wiredwebmaster
wiredwebmaster 2 dögum síðan
absolutely love when stephen makes a blunder, laughs at it, and keeps it moving. Such a fantastic host.
Sara Burke
Sara Burke 2 dögum síðan
Grounding the planes is the only thing trump has done that I agree with
geerdude
geerdude 2 dögum síðan
colbert is still funny even when he messes up the punchline!
Tahira Porter
Tahira Porter 2 dögum síðan
Asante Sana Stephen !! Thank you for putting some hilarity in our lives! Much needed in these times. As we say in Kenya your show is Poa Sana (very awesome)
Canuck867
Canuck867 2 dögum síðan
Sorry, but stereotyping canadians like that is just a blindside hit, no dowt! Sorry. Like my pet moose wouldn't hava donnybrook with a beav unless it was just hosed eh bud. Like just beauty hosed too. Sorry! Gad, this just gets me steamed, eh! Sorry, i gotta go fer a rip and have a dart to try and cool my jets. Sorry. Thanks fer chattin boot us eh!
Abel1120 conlget
Abel1120 conlget 2 dögum síðan
😂🍻
Malay Agarwal
Malay Agarwal 2 dögum síðan
Oooohhhhh, that burn. That. Burn.
J x 3
J x 3 2 dögum síðan
This program is not very funny anymore.
Creighton Freeman
Creighton Freeman 2 dögum síðan
It is ironic that the video clip of Trump has him sitting in front of a sculpture of two of the iconic Yellowstone National Park animals that his environmental policy is threatening to drive to extinction.
Laydie Elle
Laydie Elle 2 dögum síðan
As an Australian, it makes sense that Americans make fun of Canadians. Canada is their polar opposite: polite and respectful.
the last of the lemmings
the last of the lemmings 2 dögum síðan
7:46 funny! That's karma for hackin on everyone else. Lol
Anisa Mazaki
Anisa Mazaki 2 dögum síðan
Jokes aside, I'm grateful that "agent orange" did atleast one thing right for a change. Ps - @colbert, please stop making fun of Canadians. Your continual stereotyping of them is no longer funny. Not all Canadians are nice/polite people. They're human too. Just saying.
Music Feign
Music Feign 2 dögum síðan
While Colbert and writers are hilarious, completely inappropriate on the crash comments. Off limits guys, off limits. There is much comedy to find that doesn't involve lost lives. Please stop.
Jason Holmes
Jason Holmes 3 dögum síðan
Trump is all of a sudden so concerned with the well being of Americans?
Irene Mesecke
Irene Mesecke 3 dögum síðan
Love the calculator skits and also the Melania sketches. Need a bit of practice with your singing skills and when you lose it, this little old lady from downunder laughs out loud in a world where there is so much hatred.
Sapphire Riddles
Sapphire Riddles 3 dögum síðan
... If he'd quit talking without explaining why he did it, he'd have done a good job...
Citadel of winds
Citadel of winds 3 dögum síðan
What sort of person makes fun of a malingerer in a wheelchair? Colbert: Hold my cold beer.
Vincent Ciccone
Vincent Ciccone 3 dögum síðan
There is no war room.... DOJ used to be called DOW (department of war)
Vincent Ciccone
Vincent Ciccone 3 dögum síðan
Fake Jail time. Its a suspended sentence
Victor Green
Victor Green 3 dögum síðan
Uh I
A Gramckow
A Gramckow 3 dögum síðan
... you can need a wheel chair and still be able to stand or walk under your own power for a brief period of time. I'm not saying this is Manaforts deal, but there are many people who need wheel chairs who are not completely incapable of walking.
Judy FIELDS DAVIS
Judy FIELDS DAVIS 3 dögum síðan
Les Miserable. The French Revolution is an act of God.”. The plot of Les Misérables begins in 1815 when the main character, Jean Valjean, is released from a 19-year prison and hard labour sentence for stealing a loaf of bread.
FlowerofDissolution
FlowerofDissolution 3 dögum síðan
Trump's hair is like he's wearing a hair-helmet: IT IS SO STRANGE AND WEIRD! Never ever do this at home kids. Stay safe!
cshubs
cshubs 3 dögum síðan
I think I might want to die in a plane crash rather than watch Infinity Wars again. What kind of ending was that???
Joe Brennan
Joe Brennan 3 dögum síðan
This show sucks, always the same crap about Trump every night for 2years. .
Oliver Descullo
Oliver Descullo 3 dögum síðan
Colbert has revealed his mental issues after the American people elected Trump president.
Jeffrey Photonboy
Jeffrey Photonboy 3 dögum síðan
Darn, perfect "Windows Update" joke opportunity missed there considering all the screw-ups they have caused.
CCTV Cayak Crime TV
CCTV Cayak Crime TV 3 dögum síðan
I'm not authorized to say we have a learjet to Belize, engines running on standby, on 3 different local airfields. Costs 10.000 thousands of Dollars a day. All for a total witch hunt and fake news!
DunantheDefender
DunantheDefender 3 dögum síðan
7.5 for all that stuff when half of it should have given him 24... bullshit.
ShariSez1
ShariSez1 3 dögum síðan
There isn't a damn word in this clip about Manafort, you idiots.
Steven Klaysmat
Steven Klaysmat 3 dögum síðan
AVE had a good discussion about the Boeing Crashes if anyone is interested in the technical side
Mike Hike
Mike Hike 3 dögum síðan
I looked through the comments to see if anyone shed light on the "faux pas" moment (at 7:45); in case anyone else was similarly curious, buried in a thread on the comments from below was this take by "drangus": _"He messes up the line and says either f**k or s**t."_ That seemed obvious, but may be helpful for clarification. (I'm not a lip reader, but seems it was the second four-letter-word.)
The Life Of A Skip Bin Man
why isnt hillary in jail for selling american secretes to who knows who why, why would you want bill who was getting a head job when running the country, and his wife who is failed estate agent and would sell you and america to the chinese , germans, russians, she would in flame wars every where, the middle east would of been another bush bullshit storey of weapons of mass destruction, are you people serious. we got rid of head job bill , bull shit bill, gay couple obama , and sell outy hillary who loves wars, and who wanted to get rid of puttin, but she meet her match with puttin. and thank you russia for cleaning up america. we need more. Americans are fucking dick heads, thank god russian loveS there children.
Little Mac
Little Mac 3 dögum síðan
7.5 years still isn;'t enough for that piece of shit. Down with the 1%!!! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!! Support AOC!!! Vote Bernie Sanders!!!
Brittany Wehrman
Brittany Wehrman 3 dögum síðan
Not all people in wheelchairs are unable to walk, you know. Some can stand. Some can stand, but only for certain period of time because of the immense amount of strain it takes, and they would rather use a chair than use crutches/braces/canes because, again, of the amount of strain. It doesn't make them any less "wheelchair worthy" or mean they are "pretending" to need one.
jordan secrist
jordan secrist 4 dögum síðan
stephen colbert is not a tiltdown man
John Watt
John Watt 4 dögum síðan
As a Canadian it's always fun to see Americans trying to get into it. Canada has been sold out for so long, to Americans first, it took the rest of the world banning these aircraft before Canada decided to go along. If our current political regime wasn't already deep in criminal controversy, they probably would have just kept doing what Americans said. I hope this less than efficient aircraft re-design and the fraudulent efforts to cover it up become the news, not just political posturing.
Cynthia Brent
Cynthia Brent 4 dögum síðan
SDNY is kinda like The Incredible Hulk. When the sentence came down they transformed into the angry superhero. "Your Honor don't make me angry. You won't like it when I get angry...🤣🤣🤣
Cynthia Brent
Cynthia Brent 4 dögum síðan
Entering the courtroom in a wheelchair then when told to stand up he does it without assistance? Did a mafia crime boss come back to help manafool?
Oh Yeah?
Oh Yeah? 4 dögum síðan
During Stephen's bit about the reporter creating fill for his nothing story assignment I had another one of those Colbert attacks where I was laughing so hard it hurt. One of these days Stephen's going to give me a heart attack.
Shawn
Shawn 4 dögum síðan
Is it just me or have we as humans become desensitized to the loss of life? Hundreds of people died, ceased to exist, and they're making jokes? Compare this to 30-40 years ago...
Survivor #9
Survivor #9 4 dögum síðan
Too soon
Suzette Figgs
Suzette Figgs 4 dögum síðan
SMH????
Suzette Figgs
Suzette Figgs 4 dögum síðan
New York!!!!
Kamran Sadique
Kamran Sadique 4 dögum síðan
Stephen is the funniest man on TV....on ISvid!
Francis Glz
Francis Glz 4 dögum síðan
As far as I know conspiracy carries a minimum of 10 years last time I check! And at the federal level they don’t even have to prove it is enough with a person saying u did it, when drug related but this is treason.
Viorel Mocan
Viorel Mocan 4 dögum síðan
Thank you again comrade SC for another unbiased piece of sugar coated far left activism.
Alexander Forrest
Alexander Forrest 4 dögum síðan
Best late night monologue I've seen in a while
J B
J B 4 dögum síðan
Water Protectors and an independent journalist got more time than Manafort , without committing any crimes, but for PEACEFULLY DEMONSTRATING the endangerment of OUR AQUIFERS, and the journalist covered that news. There is NO real justice this country. BUMMER.
Leanne Blake
Leanne Blake 4 dögum síðan
You have to Love New Yorker . Bloody Hell Steve Munchin? Head on him like a Robbers Dog.
Leanne Blake
Leanne Blake 4 dögum síðan
As a Australian , I fly on plane , but only if its QANTAS.
Derek Gold
Derek Gold 4 dögum síðan
👍👍👍👍👍Ahhhahahahahah
Rene Dulnuan
Rene Dulnuan 4 dögum síðan
You can count on your Mama on it?
chas4702
chas4702 4 dögum síðan
Collusion Report: No Collusion found. End of report. Money wasted 10 Billion.
Patrick Cosgrove
Patrick Cosgrove 4 dögum síðan
I have to think that Stephen's Roman Catholic petticoats are showing!
Taul
Taul 4 dögum síðan
Whelp, guess mercury is rx, even Stephen is human. Just like the choir. Yeah!
Daniel Galan
Daniel Galan 4 dögum síðan
7 1/2 years for treason? White collar crime does pay!
Obi1kenobi10
Obi1kenobi10 4 dögum síðan
I LOVE NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!!
Steve Louis
Steve Louis 4 dögum síðan
Not sure it's terribly funny to joke about the 737 crashes.
Eric Koontz
Eric Koontz 4 dögum síðan
...walk up to the biggest guy in the Yard, and say... "Mr President, can I have a pardon??" YESSSSSS!!!
Ula Yee
Ula Yee 4 dögum síðan
Canada joke... haha... funny NOT!! It’s as if all mr Colbert knows about Canada he has learnt from a couple of McKenzie Brothers skits. Because all Canadians speak with a Newfoundland accent. Pretty ignorant on the part of mr Colbert. Mr Colbert, you’d do better sticking to poking fun of your orange humpty in chief.
Gene Phipps
Gene Phipps 4 dögum síðan
Actually he said, "Here...hold my Martini " =)
Andrew Homiak
Andrew Homiak 4 dögum síðan
Not to question Stephen Colbert's smut-writing capabilities, but "bedewed"? Is she a lawn?
overseastom
overseastom 4 dögum síðan
Some of these felt a bit too soon, man! Laughing about the autopilot causing nosedives is weird when 300+ people have died from it in just a few months
N K
N K 4 dögum síðan
I like maths I love maths maths is my life and I’m afraid to fly
superlearner9
superlearner9 4 dögum síðan
One of the best yet! GR SC!
Nancy Deis
Nancy Deis 4 dögum síðan
Great Job Stephen Love a Canadian
jean tyler
jean tyler 4 dögum síðan
Manifort deserves the death penalty for betraying his own country. Yet he is rich, white, and connected. SO WRONG.
Don Berry
Don Berry 4 dögum síðan
Steven, love you and I'm hardly p.c.but jokes on this are too soon. These people just died.
Áfram
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